God's destiny

God's destiny God's destiny God's destiny
something always inside my head and being with me everywhere i go
something i always wonder about, what is that big destiny?
something i always worry about, can i fulfill all your destiny in me JESUS?
something i always want to know about, why JESUS? why me?
something i always want to get over with, i can't do this JESUS..
something i always excited about, this is a BIG thing !!
something i always afraid of, i don't want to let you down..
something i always running away to, this is why i was born and i live here!!
something i always running away from, this is too much for me JESUS..

God's destiny is like a big present wrapped by a big PINK box with a big RED bow on top
waiting for us to open it, to take it, and smile when see it
God's destiny is like a bomb which can't wait to explode
because this is the time to explode and reveal all the bombs
God's destiny is like an ice-cream in the middle of 10kids
something we really want to reach but hard to catch
God's destiny is like air breeze gently in the morning
we can't see it easily but can feel how soft and gentle is that
God's destiny is like calculus learned by 5th grader
it's complicated, seems foolish but so useful for human life

can you reach it?
can i reach it?
can we reach it?
what we suppose to finish, and bring it back to God in the FINAL condition

would you mind to push yourself and make it to your highest limit?
would i mind to push yourself and make it to your highest limit?
until we exhausted because doing God's destiny

answer it
from your deep inside heart
only me
only you
only JESUS

10.2.2010

huftt.. such a century since i didnt post anything on my blog.. this thing happened because i dont have that exciting mood anymore.. what happened to me? IDK.. all i wanna do is only hanging out wif new breed. LOL.. gt a bit addicted into it.. yea, they all great, fun, crazy, wild LOL.. i love them all.. they filled the emptiness inside of me when i need somebody to fill it..
but the thing is i cant see them everyday ): wish i could be with them everytime, it would be so great!! (:
so, lately i had amazing days wif fellow new breed. we had farewell party last tue.. n today we catched " from paris with love" which is a nice movie * two thumbs up for John Travolta and his fave word ( motherfucker ) * hahaha..... i love his style the way he keeps all things and the way he talks LOL.. and today we also went to photo gallery and took some pics together.. we took crazy, hot, nerd, sweet, cute pose LOL.. soooo funny and cant stop laughing that time..
really it was a great time and fun time (: i never felt so much fun before.. i used to go hang out only wif my ex but now since i broke-up i get more into my frens, and try to join them when they have some events or when they gather together.. yea, im so blessed wif their presence in my life.. so i can get over wif my problems.. my personal problem which makes me a bit hopeless..
but NO!! NO HOPELESS IN MY LIFE!!
i wont get hopeless anymore.. i kno someone always in me heart <3 Jesus..
thanks alot Jesus (:
give me strength and hope Jesus.. i love You (:

+ also i want to tell u guys, i kinda like someone.. but yea.. it will never gonna happen ... NVM
love ya Jesus
love ya new breed
love ya guys

XOXO

long time no post!! now i'm back LOL..
u know wat? today i was very touched wif my bestfriend's blog LOL..
i was crying, such a girl haha... c'mon i'll show some pics that we took on sunday in church ..LOL..

1.. this is my bestfriend Shinta (:





isn't she cute?? she has a really sweet smile on his face (:

2... this is me when getting crazy LOL



hahaha... what a wild and crazy girl LOL..
another to show...


3... this is my fave pic (:



look at us.. sweet girls LOL..

4... this is us in front of a big mirror at church hahaha




5..... me (:





6.... what r u looking at sistaaa???






7.... ??????????






8..... cute.. (:





9... endless friendship <3

long time no update lol so sorry.. i have no idea to post lately, that's why..
btw, i had an awesome week u know!! i attended 5 services this week.. so unbelievable but a nice first move LOL.. i love God so much..
and i love this song...
" He knows my name..He knows my every thought..He sees each tear that falls..and hears me when i call.." i'm so touched with this song.. really deep..
i surrender all my life in God. every breath that i take, every moment i'm awake.. i'm falling in love with Jesus.. i gt the new spirit on my life LOL.. and i would like to enjoy it and live it to the fullest (:
but actually i'm kinda like someone.. ): idk why.. and this feeling kinda crazy huft!
i try as hard as i can not to get into it.. because i gt alot of things to rush.. anyway, i won't get him.. NEVER.. because his heart never ever here for me, bla bla bla..................
i have to encourage myself (: thanks God.. all Your encouragement that u have given for me, i'm so blessed by Rev. Ambrose John.. thanks for his ministry God, may You add and give more and more and more for him for his fam and his carreer in You Lord..
i think i want to make a poem about my status now LOL..


first, i didn't feel anything when i saw you
i never catch your wonderful eyes before
i feel nothing special when i met you
we never knew each other that day
and i thought you are arrogant

second, i started to got appealed
we met often but never talked
then i tried to know you more
with crazy way to do

third, we got to know each other
and we became friends
we had chat but never talked
we laughed but never talked
you started drive me crazy...

fourth, this feeling getting bigger and bigger
and i can't hide it
so i told my friend...
noone can help me.. because i made a wrong choice
i'm loving the wrong guy
because his love belongs to someone else
and he will never be mine
i took wrong path and overwhelmed in it

2 things i know...
first, i just can love him in silence, watch him in darkness, and hoping him can be mine oneday.. even just 1 sec with him..
trying to pretend he's mine..
love you in silence and darkness............
without noone knows how much it is
without noone knows how much pain i get when i see him
without noone knows i hope too much

second, definitely his heart will never be mine
because it's hers...
and they match together..
so i'll quit from this game, and leave them together
but i'll fighting in my own mind and my own feeling..
what can i say?

i'm loving the wrong guy

27.01.2010

hii guys...
i'm so sorry that yesterday i din't post any of my life ): it's all because the connection problem ): i can;t go online huft!! but thank God i can go today ha ha...
so i just wanna show you some of my edited pics that i edited abt 2 days ago.. emm, actually it just soso but i'm kinda proud of it ha ha..
here take a look..








here's another one...



see... i don't think those two are good enough huft!! should pratice more and more...
so what happened today?? nothing much actually.. just ussual schedule and watched 90210 n ugly betty which is kinda fun.. because watched it with MOM lol..
so, i'm so sorry if lately i didn't post any poem or watever because didn't get any idea..
but what i feel now is...
i realize he never felt for me.. even a bit the fact is he never..
also i got some words from my friend Darwin.. which is quite encourage me n hope can encourage u guys too... here's some quotes (: enjoyed...

" free love is when someone is in love with you and that person is giving you all of attention, free love is also when you and that special someone is more than happy to spend time together doing nuthing or just talking and just get lost in each others eyes, all that cost is time"
" you think you found the perfect person and in your mind the birds are singing, sun is shining and the flowers are booming but sooner or later things dont seem all that great and when you put your heart and soul into something and it doesnt work out the way you thought it does drop you down like a bag of potatoes"
" and i hate to tell you this but you will probably feel it alot and sometime it happens one after another and you dont have time to pick yourself up after each one thats why you may feel down for long time but as the saying goes there's always light at the end of the tunnel "
"but just want to say be yourself and be happy bcuz u find that being happy with yourself you attract people who are the ones you will like you for who you are"
"if people feel that you are desperately looking then they will take advantage of you, where as if ur being yourself well people will get to see who you are and love fall in love with you for that"



how u think?? that's absolutely true.. and hope u guys know the meaning of those and hope it can be something we learn from.. because we don't have to be overwhelmed about what happened with us when we are in love.. about the sad stuffs, the broken heart!! get over it!! and move on!! yea, that's it.. there are alot of another cute dolphins in sea, there are alot of another guys in this world lol.. i knew this from movie ha ha...

so i think that's all from me right now..
here's a link to song from Jo-Bro that keep me rock lately ha ha
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1otzCx9eP-A

please check it out (:
so c ya guys...
xoxo

today

today at school ::
me and my crazy friends drew something silly and funny again on the whiteboard..
here's the picture ...................


cute right? LOL.. alay gankzz... who just married with beloved ALOY ha ha..
actually it's not cute.. it's silly pic ha ha.. so that's all..

back to my personal life ::
today i'm so sad that i realized HE NEVER FELT FOR ME ): i know he just was kidding when he told me that.. i'm stupid.. i shouldn't believe him but it's too late.. unfortunately i believe him too fast .. and now i'm the fool again ):

i think he finally found someone fit with him so he never text me, talk to me anymore.. he said he's busy but can't he spend even just 1min to text me? huft!!
anyway NVM.. let it flow..
i just want to focus on my study i hope this year i can join the foundation.. i wanna move from here.. God, help me make it real.. i can't never go further without u.. so i need Your side.. guide me ):

+ because i didn't eat any meat, beef, pork i feel a bit dizzy everytime.. ): give me strength ):
i need to do this for 6 months.. ahhhh!! can't imagine that suddenly i collapse at sch or in the mall.. huft!! i feel so weak now God.. i want to rely on You..
+ the internet connection pis me off arghhh!! it's so slow lately i hate it..


so maybe i'll update later.. i wanna join the chat room because here's damn bored !! that's what i do.. see ya guys later
xoxo

24. 01. 2010

this is what we * me, refnita, vennes and evi * did at sch.. ha ha
this is BABY LION with the BRA.. ya, he's quite cute right?? lol
we draw it at sch this morning, on the whiteboard ha ha.. and it was when sch finished..

so, what happened today? i did IELTS stimulation test and it was pretty tough...esp the reading part, what a hell ): it was so hard, harder than i thought before actually ):
and the listening huft!!! i hate that IELTS stimulation ha ha.. anyway, i also got some infos about curtin uni.. which is only served commerce faculty huft!! i really confused now.. should i choose mass communication? and then after i graduate, i take photography major?? ha ha... i think that's a good idea.. ha ha.. but i should ask God first that's the most important thing.. so, i'll update u guys later more about what happened today.. now i gtg to church, my fren i waiting for me now.. God also waiting for me ha ha..
so c ya guys
xoxo

haha guys... i'm back.. but i'm updating in the same post.. lol.
so after finished my sat youth service, me and my friends celebrated Ridharta birthday.. LOL.. we brought him cake with candles lol.. and he had some wishes for his 27th birthday..
then we continued our journey ha ha.. we went to Bu Sim house and celebrated again.. they ate noodle.. but i didn't ha ha.. i just kept seeing them eating that tasty noodle haha.. but i have strong reason for that.. so NVM..
after they all finished the dinner, we continued with the 2nd tart ha ha.. but this one is special ha ha.. he gave us a piece of that tart one by one.. but i didn't receive it.. i also have strong reason for that ha ha...

the funny thing is that Fio cs throwed him with eggs, flour, and water.. ha ha... he became like huge dough with egg on his whole body ha ha.. he is so cute LOL...
but unfortunately, i did't take the pic of him when he like dough.. ): sigh..
emm i went back home around 11.30pm and my dad started scold again and again.. i just can shut huft!!
but i'm so happy today.. alot of good things happened to me..
1. even the IELTS stimulation is pretty tough but i'm grateful i can trough that..
2. i really had a great and fantastic night tonight.. in sat youth service ha ha
3. i can hang out with my crazy and funny friends.. we can't stop laughing ha ha
4. i bought FRENCH book today (: i'm planning on learn that so that i can speak FRENCH which is my DREAM haha
5. my mom finally home.. i miss HER!!
6. i got alot of infos about uni (: and planning have foundation LOL * hope can happen *
7. i met HIM ha ha
................... and alot more (:
can't tell u guys one by one ha ha
but really trust me.. it was a great and big day today..

anyway, there is a thing that i'm a bit dissapointed about.. is that i didn't have enough time to ask for more info... because the IELTS stimulation was taking too long and i was freezing there huft!!
but it's ok... i can contact someone for more info...
at last i wanna say thank you for today God..
now i'm going to zzzzz
pretty tired ): so c ya tml guyss....
let's see if tml gonna be great or not... xoxo
JAY_C (: