i promise myself that from today onwards, i will not give my ego even the slightest chance possible to ruin what we have built so far, it will not be worth it at all.

i am truly sorry for all of my stupidity and egoism that have controlled me lately and ended up making you sad.

it was killing me even more to knew that you were hurt because of what i said.

seandainya aja , gag ada jarak diantara kita. pastinya pertengkaran ini gag akan terjadi. semua karna situasi dan jarak. jarak yang buat semuanya jadi tampak mencurigakan dan bersalah. dan jarak yang buat hampir segala sesuatu yang saya lakukan itu bersalah dan mencurigakan. andaikan aja kamu disini, kamu tau setiap langkah yang saya jalanin dan segala gerak gerik saya, kamu tau saya juga bukan main main tapi saya mengejar cita cita dan harapan orang terhadap saya. saya juga susah karna situasi, saya gag suka dituduh karna itu bukan kesalahan saya. rasanya uda cukup banyak tuduhan yang gag seharusnya ditujukan ke saya. dan sejujurnya saya capek aja, lelah aja sama semuanya itu.

this is not necessary at all .

bantingin kepala dan handphone, seems to be the best thing to do right now.

For everything there is a season. When you finally found the one, you are given a wrong situation and circumstances. When you finally made up your mind, once again things go wrong and all these efforts seem to not go together. Why? For everything there is a season.

Learning how to survive in a wrong situation, learning how to get things right when actually there is nothing much we can do about it.

Why?

Everything seems to fall together at once, i have no clue whether this is better or my nightmare is just turning to a bitter reality in life. Or maybe, just maybe things fall to the right place which is unknown for me. Place where i don't belong to, place where is strange for me. Could it be that i am going there?

But why?

Is this one of those stages in life that you must go through to finally arrive at your own death?

Because it is very clear for me that i never choose to be on this pathway, to be in this journey.

But i am just being set to.

......For everything there is a season....