get your shit together!

end of February 2013, who knows just how time would fly this fast? truly reminds me of how it may be important to stop for a minute and look back, seeing how far we've gone. maybe this is one of the times when it is so much appropriate to cherish ourselves, instead of others. maybe this is one of the times to wake up from our nightmares of being a loser and just realize how we have won over all those pains and filth. maybe this is one of the times to stand up for ourselves though it may mean being left by wrong people and standing up on our own.
There are WAY GREATER things ahead of me, and that's a heads-up for me to focus on it, and not on anything else. i admit, neglecting your very feeling could be devastating and a very difficult thing to do. but i also learned just how my love for myself has to win at the end of the day. well, maybe i should start on doing that in my reality.
past few weeks have taught me considerate amount of valuable lessons, yet i will have to say that i was screwed over once again. typical me. wanting a hard way to make it as lesson, when there is obviously an easier and less hurtful way to do it. but it is alright, cos at the end of the day i can picture myself walking out of the tunnel towards the dreamland, full of everything i have been dreaming of.

from this point onwards, i swear to myself, that i will get my shit together and pace myself at God's very own pace. also, i'll love God enough to let some folks go. without further ado, i WISH you GOODLUCK on getting your shit together :)

hola 2013 & my week in snapshot #2

hello guys,
it's been more than 2weeks since the last time i posted here and this is my very first post of the year.
a lot of things have happened. first of all, i am done with my finals (YAAAAAY). last 2 weeks was tough, i got to wake up in the middle of the night just to revise my subjects and i did that for one week straight. and now my body clock is totally stuffed up :(
nonetheless, i thank God for His grace that i am able to prepare all my 3subjects in 9days. that's what i call GRACE. and by the power of prayer, all those 3 papers were fine, tough yet manageable :)

the next day after my last paper, i went to east coast park and cycle for 2hours (YAAAAAY), somehow it brought me an ultimate satisfaction and i felt so good afterwards. then, i went to grab some frog porridge and durian with my friend which is AWE-SO-ME.
well, i can feel that the first 2 weeks of 2013 has brought me so much happiness. and it goes well for me till this very point of time. if there is one lesson i got so far is that: i need to work my ass off so hard, and i will be rewarded like a boss. lol.
another good news is that, i'm gonna be back to my hometown on 22nd till around mid of february, having my term break and celebrating chinese new year with my family and oldies. CAN'T WAIT. good time, good food, what else can i ask? :p
guess, that is all for now. here is the #2 of my week in snapshot .. ENJOY !

SO I'LL SEE YOU GUYS ON THE FLIPSIDE
XX LOVE YALL

merci 2012

hello guys,
so today is the last day of 2012 and 5 hours to go till we come into a whole new year of 2013.
to be honest, 2012 has been the most amazing year in my life. ups and downs, laughs and cries, everything.
i would love to thank God for everything He has done to me, all the processes, all the lessons, all the promotions, all the favour He poured upon me in 2012.
i would love to thank my family for always supporting me and providing me with everything that i need.
i would love to thank my homies in Singapore, Mardiani, Steffy, Winnie, Priscilla, Natanael, Stefanus, WW, Budhi, Kiwanto, Gracia for making this 2012 so unforgettable.
i would love to thank all of my oldies back in my  hometown and Jakarta. to Hery, Evi, Louis, Teja, Yuki, Clement for still being with me until this very point of time.
i would love to thank my sisters in Christ, Lilys, Shinta, Lena for always loving me unconditionally.
i would love to thank all of my family in Christ in Singapore, eventhough we have only known each other for awhile but you all help me to grow and most importantly to get back closer to God.
i would love to thank my best buddy of all time, Sarath for caring about me, and loving me from the very first time we knew each other back in 2010.
this 2012 would never be how it is now without these beautiful and lovely people in my life. i have no idea what future holds for me and everyone, but my wish is to keep you all close in my heart and in my life.

and not forget to mention, THANK YOU so much December for ending this year so amazingly and beautifully..
1/31 It was a great day welcomin Dec, DOPE xmas celebration,DOPE friends, DOPE ministry, AMAZING God. December has put a smile on my face fosho:)
2/31 great fellowship with friends & i've committed myself to hit the bed every night with a real big smile on my face throughout December:) 
3/31 jerks be ruining one-of-my-days-so-far. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. still a real big smile before heading off:)
4/31 not-so-good-day, but really though there are seriously some stuffs you should just keep to yourself alone. Okay not real big but yeah:)
5/31 today is a blessing for me. its good to be able to feel the purest form of joy again, after sometimes. A real big smile for tonight:)
6/31 i guess i've done some good deeds today. thanks God for the opportunity. i might be exhausted with what's happenin, but I'm#grateful:)
7/31 tough day,exhausting day, frazzled and stuffed up yet great fellowship, spreading love, and alive. Nothing else than being#grateful:)
8/31 it was truly the day of rest after working my ass off for a week. spent lovely time with lovely people& of course nothing more to ask:)
9/31 fun day, got to shop some awesome stuffs, and spent quality time with one lovely girl. Girls time is the best:)
10/31 thanks for reminding me once again that outside of You, nothing is ever gonna be okay, nothing is ever gonna go as expected.:)
11/31 no secret sin, i just wanna be transparent and walk with You. great and productive day:)
12/31 glad that I could help those in need, tiring day yet #grateful as always. Finally, resting time. Thanks GOD:)
13/31 one more wound. Good day as usual&pembelaan cuma dari Tuhan:)
14/31 despite everything, life goes on and if you put just a little effort to stop for a minute, there's always somethin to be thankful of:)
15/31 fun day with my family in Christ. eventhough i'm left with 15days, You never fail to love me, and with You i walk through the valley:)
16/31 a very blessed day, able to share some good stuffs with my family in Christ. and gonna meetup with an important person real soon.YAY:)
17/31 met oldie, made me realize that we shall cherish the person we really care about before its too late, let them know they're loved.:)
18/31 you may have them forever, you may lose them forever and not even as a stranger. I can see myself growing up now, um yeah.:)
19/31 if I could blame one thing, that would definitely go to psychology.
21/31 DOPE day. early surprise from my beautiful babies@mardianiPS & @WinnieIllona & all of fellow mentors. I know today is gonna be great!
22/31 beyond all my imperfections in life,all my process, all my never-ending troubles,i'm perfect to have the most amazing ppl in my life:)
23/31 DOPE day after the best birthday.had a real good time with fellow, cycling in east coast park. December isn't done surprising me yet:)
24/31 probably the most exhausting day of my life, can literally feel my heart is jumping out due to tiredness and happiness. (cont.) 24/31 one of the precious nights that i will never forget. ups and downs, cries and laughs, we went through it together. i love you homies.

quick update #2

hey guys, i feel its been awhile since the last time i posted something here. quick update: i've been really busy lately with my schooling, my ministry and my projects which is why i rarely update my blog..
so 16 days have passed by since the coming of December and praise the Lord, for each and every day i have lived in December, there is always grace of God given to me and i can't ask for more.
it's pretty sad though that 16 days have passed by which means i am only left with 15 more days in this 2012. there are loads of things happened in this 2012 and God has taught me a lot of new things that i never expected i would be able to learn. to be honest, 2012 is one unforgettable year for me.
so i guess, this is just some other quick update from me. i PROMISE, PROMISE there are some cool stuffs coming up at the end of this 2012. :)
thanks guys xx

quick update #1

hi guys, so i'm back from my hometown. i was away for about 5 days, due to some health problem.
and now i'm scared that it's actually getting worse. i've consumed antibiotic prescribed by my doctor for 5days and now i stopped consuming that but my body as the result feels weak. i don't know why things like this always happen to me, SUCKS.
but on the other side, i've tried to lift up my spirit and train my mind to not be overwhelmed by my health. loads of things need to be done and i'm gonna get it done despite all these.
hopefully God is still with me through this end of 2012. i hopelessly need You so much.
xx

take all of me

today, i realized that i do need rest.. rest from all of this ongoing processes of thinking, rest from all worries that are rooted inside my head, rest from all fears that creeping into my heart day by day.
today, i asked God to take some weights out of my heart. because i just can't go on with all these burdens in me. i told God that it is starting to become too heavy for me.
and i know He did take them, in fact He took more than i asked. and again, i gave up my life to say that i need Him, more than anything in this world.
i  love You
all of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life, take all of me
xx

again, process

these past 2 weeks had been a real process for me. been down with flu about 2 weeks ago, and now im down with gum and throat inflammation, which makes it really painful to bite or even swallow. it truly sucks being sick, because then i can't do anything about it, except resting myself for the whole day and postpone every single thing that i need to do. well, im starting to see how workaholic i really am and how guilty i am for escaping from my routine.
apart from that, i've been struggling quite a lot lately which makes it even harder to go through the day. thankfully, God never fails to show me that He is always with me even when it is almost impossible to believe that there is actually someone who is willing to stay with me in this time of life. and by His grace, i'm still able to go through my process. however, despite every process that i am going through right now, i can again be reminded when i am drifting away from God, that everything is not alright. and this is just one way of Him asking me to seriously surrender everything and let Him write the narrative of my life.
err, i guess that is it. i promise that i'll start posting some cool stuffs here. hopefully i will get fit real soon.
xx