i love the way his smile is. i love the way he eats. i love the way he laughs. i love everything about him so much that i can be in tear, knowing that i miss him so much. it hurts me like i have never been hurt before, when he left. i will never forget the way it made me feel. could see him standing right in front of me, could still see his beautiful face, but i just could not touch those fingers of him. that very moment taught me to be really strong. could not handle myself, i ran from his sight and i was overwhelmed in my tears. knowing really well that he is not gonna be around with me anymore. yes i truly hate separation. now i know how it feels to really want to see someone more than anything in this world. now i know how it feels when someone has already taken your heart for good. like when he is gone, part of you is gone, too. it is insane. and i know how it feels when you are too attached with someone mentally, you would give up anything in this life, literally anything. i can feel how real this feeling is, say that i overreact but i know that i am not forced to feel this way. not even a second gone without him staying in my mind. its funny to think of, when you finally found the one, there will always be something to break through. it definitely needs a lot of work through. feeling like i am the luckiest person in this world for having him as mine. someone who came out of nowhere, bringing you the new light in your darkness, showing you that you are worth loved just like any other, proving to you how you are really someone in his life, that is just the most incredible blessing a person could get. how come you would not give up anything for it? like every single time you see that face, you just can't forget every single wrinkle on it, you just can't forget every single curve on it, it is beautiful, he is beautiful. you are so happy that tear falls down. i love you, hermanfil.