hi guys, i know i know.. i've been so irresponsible about my blog. and i'm truly sorry for that, even though i'm not very sure that there is any soul reading my blog. LOL. so, what's been happening to me ? actually, a lot has been happening to my life. i'm pretty sure that this is just the time for me to make some changes in my life. i meant, huge change. i don't know. to be very frank, i have no idea what is going on in my life. i meant, see. i have made a lot of error in my life like literally. looking at my past, i know that i was not so serious and i was just trying to have fun, trying to live my life to the fullest just like anyone else of my age. but then i remembered that i got to one point in my life where i realized that i had to change, if not for me, for those whom i love. yes, i remember that night, when i let go of my past, my lonely pathetic life. see, i'm not perfect, at all. i've got flaws and weaknesses and i guessed i was just trying to grab attention, in which i could feel normal. and i was wrong. that's why i let go of my past, i let go of my error with the help of someone. someone i used to trust with my whole life, someone whom i hoped to spend my forever with, someone whom i wished to spend my not-perfect life with. let me share with you a bit of this someone..

this person was just an ordinary person, living in my heart, and meant much to me. i don't know why. from the very first time i knew him, i was captured. i felt something i've never felt. literally. something that made me feel so joyful. something that gave me hope for a better tomorrow. yes, he meant that much to me. i used to trust him, i told him everything about my past, my present, and my future because i just trusted him that much. furthermore, i told him something that i kept only to myself, something that i couldn't share with anyone else. i know, i'm just so visible to him. and without me realizing, he has taken most part of my life and my soul. and the worst part is that, i never knew that he would be the one to destroy me.
i'm so disappointed. people do change, and i knew that. i just never thought that he would be the one to crash me down. he is dead to me now. and i miss him. i really do. someone who was able to help me to have a faith for tomorrow, someone who told me not to be fearful for making an error and in fact learn from all of my mistakes, someone who encouraged me, someone who was capable of feeling how pathetic i felt. yes, i miss him. but he is dead to me now. and nothing i can do. i miss your soul, being so close to mine.
why did you leave me here alone ? you knew that i needed you, i've told you right. i've told you everything. you're such a liar for leaving me alone saying that you needed me. why did you have to go? and now my soul is missing you. we never really had that chance huh ? we never really had the chance to hold each other hand and screaming on the street like how you told me that day. i'm so disappointed by how well you promised me something so huge, yet you just died like that. you just gone. why? i'm not enough for you that you did not fight for me? why? well, i just want you to know that i really kept my promise.
guys, i've just lost someone who was so close to me probably more than anyone else. so, i am in the storm now. but i won't give up on my life. cos one thing i promised him was that i won't give up no matter how hard the situation is. trust me, i've been through a lot, and he wasn't there for me when i hit my lowest limit. anyway, i'm glad that i've been a lot stronger.
i guess i'll see you in another life .