quick update #1

hi guys, so i'm back from my hometown. i was away for about 5 days, due to some health problem.
and now i'm scared that it's actually getting worse. i've consumed antibiotic prescribed by my doctor for 5days and now i stopped consuming that but my body as the result feels weak. i don't know why things like this always happen to me, SUCKS.
but on the other side, i've tried to lift up my spirit and train my mind to not be overwhelmed by my health. loads of things need to be done and i'm gonna get it done despite all these.
hopefully God is still with me through this end of 2012. i hopelessly need You so much.
xx

take all of me

today, i realized that i do need rest.. rest from all of this ongoing processes of thinking, rest from all worries that are rooted inside my head, rest from all fears that creeping into my heart day by day.
today, i asked God to take some weights out of my heart. because i just can't go on with all these burdens in me. i told God that it is starting to become too heavy for me.
and i know He did take them, in fact He took more than i asked. and again, i gave up my life to say that i need Him, more than anything in this world.
i  love You
all of my hope is in You
Jesus Christ take my life, take all of me
xx

again, process

these past 2 weeks had been a real process for me. been down with flu about 2 weeks ago, and now im down with gum and throat inflammation, which makes it really painful to bite or even swallow. it truly sucks being sick, because then i can't do anything about it, except resting myself for the whole day and postpone every single thing that i need to do. well, im starting to see how workaholic i really am and how guilty i am for escaping from my routine.
apart from that, i've been struggling quite a lot lately which makes it even harder to go through the day. thankfully, God never fails to show me that He is always with me even when it is almost impossible to believe that there is actually someone who is willing to stay with me in this time of life. and by His grace, i'm still able to go through my process. however, despite every process that i am going through right now, i can again be reminded when i am drifting away from God, that everything is not alright. and this is just one way of Him asking me to seriously surrender everything and let Him write the narrative of my life.
err, i guess that is it. i promise that i'll start posting some cool stuffs here. hopefully i will get fit real soon.
xx

these girls

These girls that have been beaten up to their knees..,

They always seem so strong and tough in any weather, in fact they have no shoulder except Jesus

Funny how everyone wonders and asks themselves "how can they be so strong?"

Without even knowing that these girls, their only resource is the one up there 

They don't rely on mortality, they aim for eternity

They started this journey in doubt, they learned in the vicious way, but they came off courageous

They made gallant efforts to pull themselves back together after each storm

They have been torn apart, they know what is nasty, filth and low

They have been there

on the flipside

They tried to touch people with love, different kind of love

Even though it is not rare for them to discover that their love for people always win at the end

They actually can't love themselves more than they love others

Their hearts are simply too weak to resist the need for showing what is love to those who are unfortunate enough to ever feel the delicate beautiful touch of love

And their love for people is just a little too much to leave those people they love, that way

They can keep on walking with one leg injured, but they can't see those people they love, walk in that condition

They don't mind sacrificing as long as those people they love, know how to live a true life

come up or stay back

today was a totally exhausting day for me. and i am really in need of physical, spiritual and emotional recharge. however, i feel so blessed today because i got to spend some quality times with my buddies in uni, and had some great time in skype with someone i miss a lot, and additionally @teracarissa just blessed me with her great tweets, as always.
here are some of her tweets that may bless you too ! :)

You TEACH people how to treat you. if you want my time, you MUST come up to the level of respect i deem acceptable. if not, carry on ! at some point though, you need to kind of look at yourself and ask this question : why am i attracting disrespect? what about ME that says its okay to disrespect me? you need to have some self evaluation. because honestly, if it is not you who stands up for yourself, who else is gonna do you the favor? and if there is one legit lesson that i've learned, that would be to finally admit that i can't change people, no matter how far i sacrifice myself for them, no matter how much of the time i put on them just to try to talk things out. i admit that, the furthest and biggest favor i could ever done to people is just to tell them the truth and love them, there is no way i can change them. because real change has to come from within. i'm glad i finally got this point across through this post. frankly, it took me hell to realize this.

you can't change people, you MUST work on yourself. you are the one who set the requirements and standard for your life.

on the other side of this post, i need to keep in mind what @teracarissa has highlighted that being nice is not the same as allowing someone to mistreat you, mislead you, abuse you or disrespect you. you need to discern the difference. and some of us need to tell ourselves this: i'm raising the level of expectation for MY LIFE. come up or stay back. my requirements are non-negotiable. one more thing worth knowing and remembering is that you're not losing when you cut negative influence out of your life. you're gaining because in fact you're making room for positive ones.

I totally acknowledge the fact that this is one of those easy-to-tell-but-hell-to-do kind of things, and some of you may be in bondage to disrespectful people and your constant acceptance of it tells them that what they are doing is okay, and this is extremely WRONG. one important thing to emphasize is that to NEVER let them feel that they are right, and that they are in control of your self-esteem no matter who they are or who they THINK they are.
finally, learn how to tell people: you are welcomed in my life when you can ACT like you got some senses. if you don't have any, at least ACT.

here's the link to @teracarissa profile, follow her if you want https://twitter.com/teracarissa
but personally, she has blessed me with her tweets and i'm glad i have this wise woman on my timeline ;)
with love, xx