20.1.2010

today i didn't go to sch.. im still shocked about all things that happened to me so i didn't go to sch.. even i really want to go because today is my best fren birthday * MONICA *.. so sorry mon, i didnt go to celebrate it.. ): but over here, i wish u all the best.. and bla bla bla like i said on the letter that i gave you (:

so, other thing that happened today.. this is the first time i asked my fren, IVIN for help.. need alot of consideration.. finally i asked him all just because noone of my frens is online.. except him, so i asked him for help to convert my task from 07 edition to 03 edition.. huft!! that's all because when i bought this new laptop the store that i went is closed.. i need to take some things over there, but it was new year eve, so the store closed earlier.. what a silly thing =='.. so, i asked him to convert as the payback i have to mention his name on my project lol.. and i have to agree lol.. so yea, finally i can continue my work even it's kinda tough.. and i still dont know about the song i wrote, i mean i finished wrote the lyrics.. but the music ?? NO IDEA about that.. huft!! even i really want complete it immediately.. then i'm planning to set it as my ringtone ha ha.. must be so funny..

sooo by the way. about my problem that i told before on the last post.. God finally gave me the answer.. even i have to wait for almost 1 year from now on.. and have to do something called " food elimination ".. yea as we know, i must eliminate alot kind of food and sadly i have to do this for 6 months first.. it's realy tough for me but i know this is the answer that i've been waiting for.. and thanks alot God !! i LOVE ya (:

em.. truthfully lately i feel like nobody.. i mean i'm a body but inside i feel like nobody.. how to say? ): i made some words to express this feeling.. this one check it out :

" i wonder how other people will react if i am gone? Will they feel something not right? or will they feel normal? Because i'm nobody for them. i won't hope too much about it. because hoping just bring dissapointness at last. i wonder if i mean something for someone. or i'm just like someone who comes and goes. no memory left. i'm not a begger. i'm not gonna beg for love. i'm not gonna beg so that people will receive me. if they don't so what right? i'm not gonna die right? at least i have someone who will love me, actually not will but did love me. and he received me for who i am. He knows me even when i wasn't born. He had great plan and great purpose in me. which is unpredictable, unbelievable. He is admirable and almighty one. i just can rely on Him and sit there. and talk about eveything that happens on my life, about everything that i'm going trough. because He won't stop me from tell Him. He will listen to me anytime, anywhere.. "


so, what do you think guys? isn't it deep?? emm... i even almost cry when i wrote this.. ):
if you read this with all of your feeling, you must know exactly how i feel.. ): but nvm, it doesn't matter lol...
hmmmm.... how tough life is..
sometimes i think im still 16 but i keep talking about life lol.. like granny lol but it's kinda interesting so i post about it ha ha..
anyway, this is the pic of my words that i wrote just now...
i made it at sch when history subject ha ha.. sorry MR. * i forget his name * !!



it just a piece of paper from KATHERINE.. i don;t know what to do with that so i just wrote my thought there ha ha..
so that's all for today.. will update soon (:
bye guys!! (: xoxo