long time no update lol so sorry.. i have no idea to post lately, that's why..
btw, i had an awesome week u know!! i attended 5 services this week.. so unbelievable but a nice first move LOL.. i love God so much..
and i love this song...
" He knows my name..He knows my every thought..He sees each tear that falls..and hears me when i call.." i'm so touched with this song.. really deep..
i surrender all my life in God. every breath that i take, every moment i'm awake.. i'm falling in love with Jesus.. i gt the new spirit on my life LOL.. and i would like to enjoy it and live it to the fullest (:
but actually i'm kinda like someone.. ): idk why.. and this feeling kinda crazy huft!
i try as hard as i can not to get into it.. because i gt alot of things to rush.. anyway, i won't get him.. NEVER.. because his heart never ever here for me, bla bla bla..................
i have to encourage myself (: thanks God.. all Your encouragement that u have given for me, i'm so blessed by Rev. Ambrose John.. thanks for his ministry God, may You add and give more and more and more for him for his fam and his carreer in You Lord..
i think i want to make a poem about my status now LOL..


first, i didn't feel anything when i saw you
i never catch your wonderful eyes before
i feel nothing special when i met you
we never knew each other that day
and i thought you are arrogant

second, i started to got appealed
we met often but never talked
then i tried to know you more
with crazy way to do

third, we got to know each other
and we became friends
we had chat but never talked
we laughed but never talked
you started drive me crazy...

fourth, this feeling getting bigger and bigger
and i can't hide it
so i told my friend...
noone can help me.. because i made a wrong choice
i'm loving the wrong guy
because his love belongs to someone else
and he will never be mine
i took wrong path and overwhelmed in it

2 things i know...
first, i just can love him in silence, watch him in darkness, and hoping him can be mine oneday.. even just 1 sec with him..
trying to pretend he's mine..
love you in silence and darkness............
without noone knows how much it is
without noone knows how much pain i get when i see him
without noone knows i hope too much

second, definitely his heart will never be mine
because it's hers...
and they match together..
so i'll quit from this game, and leave them together
but i'll fighting in my own mind and my own feeling..
what can i say?

i'm loving the wrong guy