God.. i can't do this anymore.. i can't stand this life.. i can't stand this situation anymore.. everything is just too heavy for me.. the burden that i'm having, the problem that i'm having, all the pain, all the bad thing, all thing that happened to me i can't take this anymore.. what should i do?? should i just end up my life?? i'm so surrender.. i'm so surrender.. i'm so surrender.. i'm crying i'm breaking.. until i don't know how to think.. until i don't know how to live my life anymore.. what can i do to fix it God?? ): i never have the chance to feel the real life, i always hide myself and my desire.. i never can't show up who i am.. ): i'm getting this point.. and i know i'm opening the door for evil.. i don't want but my body just let me do this.. my faith isn't enough.. how can i have more faith in You God?? how long i should have to wait for a healing?? how long it takes?? until my death?? ): God, i never knew that life will be this hard.. will be this dark and cold.. as i getting older i realize life is too tough.. even i have free choice but i'm just can't make the right one.. what must i do to solve this?? God... ): don't leave me hopeless here.. God.. i only can put my hope in You.. only You.. ): give me more of Your grace, give me more strength to go trough this last day of my life..
i love u God for everything i love You
thanks for my friends who care about me.. thanks for Darren and Jack, Katherine and Monica and others.. thanks for making me smile and laugh..
i love you..
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